1. HAIR ON THE BATHROOM TILES. HAIR ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR. HAIR ON MY FRICKIN’ CARPET. I guess this only applies to _______. I love her but girl just has terrible, terrible hair that drops everywhere. And she doesn’t bother to pick them up and throw em in the bin. I have to do it for her.

If you’re thinking “For f-’s sake Ilyana, it’s just HAIR, stop whining and sweep it away”, then you must be a guy or a very bald girl. Honey, a thousand strands of hair on your bathroom floor is the most disgusting sight (even if they’re your own). It’s almost like a horror movie’s come to life; you have to step on it while you brush your teeth and some of it coils around your toes. I don’t need to tell you how great that feels.

2. When non-designers tell me, “Why does your website look so simple?”. Do you know how much time and pixels went into making this website? Do you know how many forking layers of beautifully balanced and manipulated graphics went into this simple background? Of course not, you aren’t anal. Therefore, you can never be a designer (I think 3 years of design school hell has entitled me to a certain level of arrogance to say this so psht).

3. “OMG! You take great photos, what camera do you use?!?!” I don’t hate people who ask me this question but I’m just waiting for someone to ask me instead, “Can you give me some tips on how to improve on my photography?”. People need to understand that getting an expensive camera doesn’t guarantee a good photo. If you don’t understand the (breakable) laws and basics of good photography, then not even a $2,500 DSLR can help you.

4. Being late. I’m usually tolerant of friends who can’t help being late e.g. missed a tram, woke up late bla bla - just as long as they give me a head’s up they’re going to be x minutes late. But for god’s sake, don’t do it all the time.

5. People who feel completely helpless when not in a relationship. Please grow a spine. Or read my blog for self-empowerment.